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People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world. - Calvin


Catharsis:
1 : PURGATION
2 a : purification or purgation of the emotions (as pity and fear) primarily through art b : a purification or purgation that brings about spiritual renewal or release from tension
3 : elimination of a complex by bringing it to consciousness and affording it expression

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Friday, Dec. 13, 2002 - 11:55 A.M.

The last one to discover the water will be the fish

How blind are we to everything that is around us, to everyone that is around us? How blind are we to the obvious? Its amazing how little we acknowledge what's in front of us, what seems so obvious to everyone else. Perhaps its self preservation. I doubt seriously we are completely blind to it. Somewhere, it pops into our minds, our conscious being and we realize it, if only for a moment before it submerges again into the unconscious and we forget. But it's true all the same and it is only ourselves that refuse to acknowledge the water all around us.

This clever quote, is in a book called the Zen of Zelda, Zelda being this fairly ugly lookin' bulldog dressed in people clothes. Suffice to say whether it is attributed to the dog, or to someone other than the dog, I don't know but its still a rather inciteful quote.

I just edited out a whole bowling analogy that made no sense at all once I wrote it, yyou know something along the lines of life is like bowling with the hadncapping barriers up, its a lot easier and you don't fall into the gutter. I don't know I've got these quotes in my head that coincide with this analogy that I don't want to use because I'd sound sappy. But we, and whenI say we, I can ahonestly say me, we live life so hesitantly, like whatever could possibly go wrong will. The problem is, the experiences lost because of that probability are too great. The burden of them, of not living because of the possibilities, of not loving because of the hurt, how great a loss is it that we forego? Its an answer I don't want to know right now if ever because the loss that I know and feel is tolerable. I don't want to relive anything I've lived so far, especially knowing and feeling and thinking all that I do now. How horrible that would be to relive it and then return to this life knowing what I had lost. Dreams are likethat sometimes. THose wonderful dreams where your unconscious delivers up the good and you live them in the confines of a night and you wake with a sudden happiness which often times dissolves into the reality that is this life. The sad thing is, we make up our own reality, our own mores and set of rules and behaviors that are acceptable, granted they are molded by everything around us, but still we make them ours or they are made ours by others and we live whatever life we have because of all of this. And I'm getting sidetracked. I'm confusing my own self. That's not how its supposed to work. Is it?

What I want to know is, who is right? and on the flip side who is wrong. And what makes them so.

Life is a mystery to me. Still. I don't have answers. Just questions. This entry doesn't help at all. But before I delve further into this scrambled delivery, I have to go to work.

Just in case you're wondering, the sun is shining just as I told you it would. ANd its getting nicer as the days progress. And guess when it is supposed to get all cloudy and rainy again, that's right Tuesday. Guess when my next day off is? That's right, Tuesday. damned weathermen. Charlatans. meteorolgical quacks is all they are.

Thank you for reading my ramblings, if you got this far, that is. Read me later

"fore I go though. Wade and Paige came over last night. Well mostly it was Wade. About 6:30ish. finally. He was supposed to be over around noon, well he said 11:00 but I thought noon would be closer to the truth. I called after noon and he had overslept. BUt he finally made it in time for must see tv. Which was you know, must see. And I had to throw him around a little afterwards. It was necessary for his own good. He's gettin too big for his britches as the saying might go and I had to bring him down a notch. He was out of breath, terribly winded by the whole affair and promptly fell asleep. Perhaps he has learned his lesson. THough I doubt it. He's thick headed sometimes, the poor boy. :)

That's really all I did yesterday. I didn't even change out of my pajamas nor did I venture outside at all. It was a bit relazing. My back hurt a little from sleeping on the couch so I had a couple of mdedicinal shots of Jack Daniels to ease the pain. It was wonderful. other than that, nothin'

Okay, now I guess you can go.

neurosis ~ catharsis