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Perks Of Being A Wallflower
Friday, Apr. 11, 2003 - 10:11 A.M.  Books are wondrous. I say this with a conviction that I have felt for a very long time. I say it because books are a part of who I am. When I was younger I never could have said this because me and reading, we weren't compatriots, we weren't anything more than passing friends while I was in jr high and high school. We didn't really get along at all, until 1986 when I read Stephen King's Different Seasons....but I think I've told that story before. Still up until then, I had read but a few books on my own, Lord of the Rings and James Fenimore Cooper's Last of the Mohican's, well technically it was all the books in the series. I loved them. But other than that, no reading for me. I don't know why I have become such a reader. I was talking to one of my favorite customers the otehr day while I was at the mall. Before I went to work. SHe's a wonderful, continuously happy, uplifting, spirited woman who always makes me feel good, not so much about myself, because she does that too, but about everything and everyone in general. She's an effervescent soul. Anyway she asked me school and I told her how much I enjoy it and she asked me about reading and she asked me if I thought there was any correlation between me loving school and reading and I told her that I think there was a correlation between people who read ad people who want knowledge, that reading is a fount of information, even if you read fiction, that worlds of knowledge lie within those pages. And she nodded and agreed with me because she didn't like school but she loved to read. And then I told her MS Baker was working and she said she wanted to go squeeze her and I smiled a tue happy content wsmile because she is so nice and present, if that makes sense, when she was talking to me. Anyway, I just finished reading the last half of Perks of Being a Wallflower while waiting for the dsl man to see what's up with my dsl and I grabbed my book, when out on the patio with a glass of ice tea and drank and read voraciously. Its a short book, but Charlie, the main character, so enamoured me that I hoping that there will be anohter book with him in it. My favorite character in all the world is this character from a series of science fiction novels which start with Midshipman's Hope. Nicholas Seafort is who I want to be every time I read that series. I usually take the first four books with me when I go on a vacation somewhere. The books make me cry because of what happen in them, because of what happens to Nicholas, because of what Nicholas has to do, because Nicholas is a person I wish I could be like and that I could do what he has to do. I wish I could live like that..... Anyway Charlie in Perks is more of who I am. Self effacing, quiet, shy, good, and the things he expressed, the words he says, the actions he takes, the life he is living, seems and feels so much like me. The problem with this is that he's 15/16 years old and well I'm not. Believe me its pointed out to me that I am not. In one way or another, it becomes very evident. Everyone sems to be under the impression that I am supposed to be in a certain place in my life, that I am supposed to be doing this, that I'm supposed to be settled, that I'm supposed to be set in my way, that 'm supposed to be done growing up and am now supposed to start growing old it seems. Why is that? Why am I done? Why is it not my turn anymore? Why? I don't feel like I'm as old as I am. I have never felt as old as I am. that's not true, when I was younger, like in elementary school, I felt like I was old. I really did. I felt like I was racing to be where I am now. But then somewhere along the way, I think it was after I graduated, that the whole notion of being old, of being as old as I am, its not real. Age is a mental thing. It truly is. And I think the thing that ages you the most is life. And if you let life run you, then you will be as old as everyone says you're supposed to be. But if you just live your life, if you just live, not carrying the worlds expectations on your shoulders, how much easier it can be. I'll be the first to admit that I want to keep hold of my youth. The world is youth oriented, anyone who says they don't care about their youth is lying. Youth is attractive, verile, potent, intoxicating. Most of my frends are at that point in their life where they're about to start living. And from that I feel the same thing. My motors still revving at the starting line and I love that feeling. I love that I still feel like I have all the possibilities in the world. Maybe I'm ignoring some of the realities of this world when I think this way, but which is better, to "know" that you only have so many options left open for you, or to "know" that every option is still left open for you? I wish you would read Perks of Being a Wallflower. It's sorta a heavy book in a way because, well it has wieghed heavily on my mind, but that's only because of Charlie and how I've associated with Charlie. But the book is wonderful. The characters are wonderful. The story is wonderful. And there's even a soundtrack, if you download all of the songs that are mentioned in the book. I did that. I'm trying to educate myself concerning music because as I've confessed on many occasions, I'm musically illiterate. Truly I am. And finding songs and music and artists that I enjoy, that speak to me, that enliven me, that make me feel infinite, truly is nice. So read the book, download the songs and listen. Well I thinkthe dsl sbc/yahoo guy is here to see what's wrong with my service so I should save this so I don't lose it. Read me later |
