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�QUOTE:

People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world. - Calvin


Catharsis:
1 : PURGATION
2 a : purification or purgation of the emotions (as pity and fear) primarily through art b : a purification or purgation that brings about spiritual renewal or release from tension
3 : elimination of a complex by bringing it to consciousness and affording it expression

�SENSES:
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2001-04-27 - 8:41 a.m.
today is my first day back to work. I'm sure if you listen really hard you can hear the enthusiasm bubbling up from the very depths of my soul. It would be so nice if I were independently wealthy and could work, you know, just for the fun of it. having to work for a living really takes away some of the joy. But let's not dwell on that. let's dwell on the happy things. The happy things, hmmmm, happy things, hmmmm.

So anyway I just bought The Lord of the Rings. I read the series way back in Jr High school, many many many many moons ago. One of the few books that I read before my literary breakthrough. Anyway I can't wait to reread that, but right now I am reading David Feintuch's new Seafort novel, Children's Hope. This is my favorite science fiction series ever. You should read it. No really you should. It's awesome. You want to learn about the series go to Nick Seafort Wonderful wonderful stuff. I'm telling you.

Anyway, what else.

Jenni came over for Friends nite. Its was a brand new episode. I haven't seen Friends in almost two weeks. I was going through severe withdrawals. So I enjoyed it immensely. Laughed contentedly for 30 minutes. Which reminded me just now that over in England, they have the whole season box sets on sale and here in the states they only have the best of dvd sets. that sucks. I want the whole seasons. So I'm going on a letter writing campaign. its not fair that I have to watch the best of episodes, which aren't necessarily the best of, when you Brits, which I love by the way, get to watch every episode any time you want. Not fair at all. Not fair! I shall speak my mind, let my voice be heard and start a ruckus if'n I have to. i want the complete friends on DVD too. I'm pissed now.

What else is there to talk about. After Friends and ER Wade came over and then Michelle and we all hung out for a bit. then I sent them home at about 12:00 cuz I was getting sleepy. I need my sleep. I'm not so young, as it is often pointed out. sigh. such is life.

But wade came over earlier and we had a good talk. He seems to be in good spirits since the other night. Which is good. He's been a bit burdened of late. Not just with feelings but he's had a burden to carry about a bunch of crap that happened in the past and his trying to make up for it. And I think he's come to the realization that he shouldn't be the only one who has to wrok to make a friendship a friendship. Which is good. I mean nobody gets to walk away from that clean. Things were done and said, but Wade seems to be the only one who has a burden to prove that he's friendship worthy, and that is just not right. So he's had an epiphany of sorts and maybe, just maybe everyone else will have an epiphany too. I'm hoping so.

Course I am sitting here writing this and thinking to myself what is going on in the minds of all the participating parties involved. And have this odd feeling that they're thinking to themselves, he really has no right to take any sides in this since he wasn't there and don't know what all happened. And maybe that is right. But, and maybe now i am being a bit redundant, but there seems to be this desire to forgive and forget, but it never comes. I don't know. If its too much to overcome, then they are all just beating their heads against a brick wall. If, on the other hand, its not this monumental task, then get past it and get over it. Cuz if you can't then, one of these days one of you are going to turn around and the other ones won't be there.

And I have to say, you are a great group of friends, to me and to each other, but sometimes this friendship is very fragile and I don't want something small to develop into something big and everything from the past to be brought up again and thrown in each others face like it happened yesterday. if you are going to forgive each other, do it.

Friendship is one of the strongest bonds anybody can have, stronger sometimes than even family (in this case I believe this to be true) Somewhere in the bible there is something it says about friendship and a love for a friend is greater than the love for family, i'm not sure what it is, but it just makes me all the sadder when you can't get past yesterday. I'm envious of your friendship. I wish i had had someone who was willing to drop anything and everything at an instants notice to be there for me. i didn't. You've all made mistakes and you've all hurt each other. so you can all forgive each other.

steps down off his lofty step stool. Looks around at those faces, bereft of a response, inner thoughts bouncing back and forth between, "who the hell does he think he is" and "he thinks he knows everything" and "boy he's long winded about this"

I just don't want to see you all go your separate ways. I like you all too much to see that happen. Life is too short and the future to hazy to say what tomorrow is going bring so live in today, cuz no matter how hard we wish we could, we can't change the past....but tomorrow, there is so many possibilities that you can make, if you live for today and in today. yesterday is gone, tomorrow is promising, but today, today is here and now and you guys have so much to give to each other.

oooops. there I go again. long winded.

i guess I shouold go. i want to do a little reading before i have to go to work. yippee!

take care of each other.

me

neurosis ~ catharsis