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�QUOTE:

People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world. - Calvin


Catharsis:
1 : PURGATION
2 a : purification or purgation of the emotions (as pity and fear) primarily through art b : a purification or purgation that brings about spiritual renewal or release from tension
3 : elimination of a complex by bringing it to consciousness and affording it expression

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2001-05-14 - 10:11 a.m.
sometimes you wonder what effect you would have on peoples lives, how their lives would be different if you would never had made an appearance. What would I be like without their influence, what would they be like without my influence. I mean, we are, all of us, reflections of the people we know and love. our friends, are the people we admire, the people we lean on in times of need, the people who listen and advise, the people we have chosen to spend our lives with. This is a most wonderful thing to share, because no matter how young and irreverent and invincible you are, the older you get the reality of life is that life is short. Everything that we are ever going to be will be defined by the life that we live, the people we surround ourselves with, the people we love.

Sometimes I wonder why we love the people we do. Why we choose the friends that we do. Life is just a big bunch of questions. And the answers change every time you turn around. that's the hard part cuz you think you have it all figured out but then.....then its like its back to square one. the good thing though is that you have all the previous experience to look back on. And you can base todays actions on what worked yesterday and what didn't work.

Right now I am talking to Mel. She reminded me, that, we have know each other 14 years now. 14! That's a long time to love someone. Its funny, the idea of loving someone. You don't just love them during the good parts of your life or theirs, but you love them through ti all. And I know my love for her hasn't always been the same love. Its been different at different times. When she got married, I loved her tremendously, loved her enough to go to her wedding and see her in her wedding dress and cry as she said her vows to another man and know all that I know about her, about her hopes and dreams and wishes, loved her when I first saw her but was so terrified of the idea of loving someone and giving myself, any part of me away to be hurt, loved her like a best friend and confidant and loved her in so many different ways. I can't say what my love for her is, how it grows and changes, what it becomes at night when i am looking at the stars and moon, listening to the songs on the radio or the wind through the trees.

Happily ever after is a fairy tale, but you shouldn't not try.

Love and Friendship. Both are a give and take equation. they're never equal. One's love will always be stronger than the others. Ones frienship will be stronger. But true friends and true loves, will strive for each other, for themselves, and their paths may be different and may never come together in the end, but the striving, the making each other happy in whatever they do, to give of yourself, selflessly, to be with them, in heart, in hope, in spirit, to truly love them, be they friend or love; what a gift you can give.

Lord, thank you for my friends. They make me happy. they tire me sometimes, but they make me happy. they let me see who I can be, they show me heart and happiness and joy and pain and fear and truth and life. bless them and keep them, protect them and touch them. fill them with Your love. thank You for blessing me with them -amen

Okay I have to go get ready for work. Yippee yi yay and all that joyous stuff. After work Wade and I are going to go to the batting cages. It really is a great reliever. Not to mention the idea of hitting that ball. I never thought I was very porficent in sports. I mean I can hold my own, I can throw a football, I can run, I can slide, I can do anything, I was just never really self assured about it all. the batting cage, while not exactly the most difficult of scenarios, still lifts my spirits when I can actually hit all teh balls that come at me or just one or two. its reassuring in a way. I was always the smart one. grin.

oaky I guess i will talk at you tonight after all teh fun and enjoyment that is my life.

neurosis ~ catharsis