Hole in my soul
2001-06-20 - 10:05 a.m.
The pool was closed yesterday so I really did pretty much nothing for the first part of the day. i ate alot. If you told mei was going to have pizza for dinner today i would have to kill you. Oh I'd still eat the pizza but you would be dead. I cleaned my apartment some and did some online grocery shopping. i have virtually no food in my fridge and when you are going to have some people over for lasagna, it would help if you had the fixins for lasagna.
So I ordered all the necessary foodstuff as well as a few essential day to day consumables, which need to be consumed before I leave to Austin. Then after I ordered groceries i decided I was hungry so I called
and ordered pizza. If you want to know what my favorite pizza is, its pepperoni, mushrooms, sausage, with extra cheese. Mmmmm mmmmm mmmmm, its good. Either that or something with everything. I like everything on a pizza, but if i have to choose toppings, that is what i get Talked to jenni on the phone while I was eating my pizza and watching Gladiator (a very cool movie by the way) and she invited me to the gathering of people. I accepted. Finished watching my movie, hated Phoenix's character, he was just evil and it was perfectly blissful to watch as well I won't go into it so as not to ruin it it for anyone. I loved that movie though it was really good. A bit gorey in places so beware.Jenni got here at about 7:00 ish and we went over to jess' while we waited for chad to show up. somehow michael z, who was at work, was convinced to join us before the evening was over with, which added some hilarity to the evening, I have to admit. Went to
last night with jenni,jess,michael z. katherine, and good ol' tommy and chad poor tommy. I don't think I would have wanted to be there if I was going to be treated the way he was. He would have been better off left at home. But instead he came with us. It was sort of a birthday celebration, only there was hardly any mention of birthday or anything. He just sat on the end and ate his chicken linguini or whatever it was actually he just ate the chicken and left almost all noodles. He's somewhat smitten with Michael, at least he seems to be. He seems to be easily smitten by a lot of people though, but Michael seems to be on the top of the list.  Michael and Katherine showed up as we were leaving and then we went over to
Marble Slab for ice cream. So we sat out side on this lawn funiture in Sundance Square in downtown Fort Worth, while they ate their ice cream and then everyone called it a night. While technically it wasn't supposed to be "a night" but afterwards all we did was end up over at jess' where the talk turned from movie lines and monty python to british television shows and we didn't even get to go to
which my 12:00 it was showing. Chad finally broke down, several times, and eventually went home and I was next. Michael, out of the kindness of his heart, was nice enough to give me a ride home so that Jenni wouldn't have to. And that was the end, until I picked myself up off the couch after having fallen asleep and dragged my very sleep butt to bed. at about 3 or so. I contemplated updating, but thought better of it Apparently this morning I am in a grouchy mood. Which in all fairness I am, since my stomach is still digesting pizza. Lots and lots of pizza. had an instant message conversation with miss jenni, popped open a dr pepper, mmmm dr pepper, and this is what our conversation consisted of:
Jenni says: good morning scififantasy says: what's so good about it...rrrrrrrr Jenni says: whats wrong? not enough sleep scififantasy says: no, my stomach is STILL digesting pizza, not a pleasant feeling to say the least Jenni says: oh i am sorry...i feel fine. mabe you should have topped it with ice cream scififantasy says: yeah that would have made it just fine....i don't think so Jenni says: just a suggestion crabby scififantasy says: HEY! don't call me crabby! scififantasy says: grin Jenni says: if the shoe fits... scififantasy says: i'm barefooted right now so shut up Jenni says: so when do you work today scififantasy says: at 1:00 Jenni says: tee hee i'm off scififantasy says: who cares!......errrr....i mean I hope you have a pleasant day....but not really Jenni says: jerk scififantasy says: bitch scififantasy says: hehehehehehehe Jenni says: never mind i wont come see you at work now Jenni says: i was going to steal some boxes but... scififantasy says: ...but the 5 - 10 year jail term frightened you off Jenni says: no Jenni says: you wouldnt call the cops on me Jenni says: would you? scififantasy says: in a heartbeat Jenni says: you jerk Jenni says: i wouldnt do that to you Jenni says: i like you scififantasy says: yes well, I've decided the shoe does fit Jenni says: i consider you a friend scififantasy says: hey the law is the law Jenni says: i thought youd take a bullet for me scififantasy says: not from the police Jenni says: there for you should also be my alibi in strange situations scififantasy says: i don't alibi for anybody less they are with me at the time Jenni says: well thats no fun scififantasy says: i'm not a fun person, I mean was last night not proof enough of that Jenni says: now no crazy crimes can be commited tht you can look back on and laugh Jenni says: at scififantasy says: such is life Jenni says: well you sure are in a GREAT mood this morning scififantasy says: yes but I can look back on the times when I said, jenni who? never heard ofher....and laugh and laugh and laugh Jenni says: so i'm that expendable? scififantasy says: everybody is expendable scififantasy says: the last month and a half has shown me that Jenni says: oh jackass.. scififantasy says: what? Jenni says: so if i'm that expendable why do i even bother typing to you Jenni says: you've never managed to hurt me enough to make you expendable, let me tell you it takes quite a lot scififantasy says: I've never managed to hurt you enough? Jenni says: nope. thats a good thing. scififantasy says: when did I manage to hurt you in the first place? Jenni says: i didn't say you did scififantasy says: no, you said I haven't "managed to hurt you enough" to make me expendable, scififantasy says: which infers somewhere along the way i have scififantasy says: and I haven't reached the cutoff point Jenni says: well i meant that everybody hurts each other daily in little ways....not that you had done some sort of horrible thing that made me not want to see you scififantasy says: whatever Jenni says: gosh you are touchy this morning scififantasy says: yeah well blame it on the pizza Jenni says: well dont take it out on me. i just didn't wanna be expendable... Jenni says: and look you freak out on me scififantasy says: nobody wants to be expendable Jenni says: well you arent so that should cheer you up Jenni says: stupid grouch Jenni says: can i call you oscar scififantasy says: no scififantasy says: besides i wasn't worried about me Jenni says: well good Jenni says: so can i get some boxes or not scififantasy says: why not, they're not my boxes Jenni says: well you know my store. we get under 20 a week and returns takes every one of them scififantasy says: like i said why not Jenni says: okay
Rereading that I did seem a little bitchy, didn't I? I don't know if she knew who I was referring to concerning being expendable and not wanting to be expendable or if she was avoiding it. Maybe I'm just too meddlesome. Is it wrong to want to have everybody get along? truth of the matter is I'm expendable, I am. I know it. If anyone is, it would be me. I should be the expendable one. I should be the one on the outside looking in. If I could trade places right now, I would, because he's my friend and well I would. Now I'm not in a bitchy mood anymore. I'm just in a mood. I need to go swimming. the damned pool better be open today or they will rue the day, rue it i say. Okay I just checked.....they're gonna start ruing......the pool is a not so lovely shade of green, which isn't right. Now I'm just pissed. And this doesn't bode well since I have to work the long assed bitch shift today. I want to go back to sleep and wake up all over again and it be thursday morning, real early so I have all day to do nothing. Cuz I'm off tomorrow. Okay, I gotta go before I find something else to be bitchy and pissy about. And you know since my groceries are supposed to come tomorrow, I have nothing in my fridge to eat, but that's right....PIZZA!!!!! I'm cursed, but you know what, a cold piece of pizza does taste good right now. i gotta go now. maybe a cold shower. pretend its raining or something. I don't know. read me later
neurosis ~ catharsis
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