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People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world. - Calvin


Catharsis:
1 : PURGATION
2 a : purification or purgation of the emotions (as pity and fear) primarily through art b : a purification or purgation that brings about spiritual renewal or release from tension
3 : elimination of a complex by bringing it to consciousness and affording it expression

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2001-08-06 - 11:34 a.m.
The pool is calling out to me. I don't suppose you can hear it. it was quiet earlier, and when I say earlier I mean like about 15 minutes ago when I was still in bed and not wanting to stir except that the sunlight was slanting through the blinds and encouraging ever so subtly to get my lazy ass out of bed, as a matter of fact those were the suns exactly words. Get your lazy ass out of bed. I didn't even think the sun knew that kind of talking. But its been around the block a few billion times so it should come as no surprise. So anyway the pool is calling. Its gotten louder. Kinda nagging me really. you know you want to come swimming. you really should come swimming. children in Ethiopia don't have swimming pools glistening right off their back patio so you really should get your lazy ass off the computer and come swimming. the sun and the pool; old friends I think. Suffice to say, after I do this entry, I'm going swimming where the sun will burn me and the water will waterlog me and the chlorine will redden my eyes. I will look like a coked up white raising that has been too long in the sun. Then you know it, you will hear it, you will see it, the sun will in its way say, you were out in the sun too long. tsk tsk tsk.

Last night I spent the evening playing Gauntlet. I cant say I was the most successful player to ever pick up the red controller. I kept getting distracted by what was going on in the screen and losing my character. When it comes to video games I think I need a little ritalin or something to help me concentrate. Cuz i lose concentration and next thing you know I'm watching the game and the other players and not really playing. Video games are really just spectator sports for me. After Gauntlet froze up on us AGAIN for the second time, the first time, I was Bubba the blue wizard, the second time I was Guss the blue wizard, bubba's inept little brother. But like all little brothers, he had to show ol' bubba up. But then Gauntlet froze again and we decided it was time to stop. I think my thumb is developing carpal tunel just from last night's playing. After Gauntlet we sat around and talked for a bit, a little of this, a little of that, a little history, laughed a bit, okay laughed a lot, cuz well history can be funny. hindsight is 20/20 and everything seems so much clearer than when you living in the moment. Living in the moment is something of a hindrance when it comes to friendships, relationships and life in general cuz you don't know what to expect, where things are going and what everyone really thinks and feels. Its really rather perturbing. But you get past it, move on or let go and then months and months later you can look back and laugh to your hearts content while someone is yelling at you to shut up andrew shut up. I'm sorry, I'm a laugher, I can't help myself. I find great joy in the misery of others. not really, but it is often much more humourous when you look back.
I find myself looking off into other directions while I am writing this journal entry. I'm a bit distracted, not just by the pools constant nagging, but someone else's present difficulties and there's something in the back of my head that is always saying, just talk to the person, see if you can help. But there's a little distance, a little wall I guess I don't know. I mean its understandable and everything but I still can't help wanting to help. Not that they need help or anything like that, but when a person is upset about something, I tend to be someone who sits back and tries to think of ways of making things better. Granted this is probably and area of help I wouldn't be too good at, but if I could help, even in the smallest way, I would certainly try. its my nature. I can't help it. its that INFP thing again. if you're wondering what I am referring to when I say INFP, well you can go

neurosis ~ catharsis