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B O R I N G spells blah
2001-08-15 - 10:48 a.m. Ain't life just a chair of bowlies...or is that a bowl of cherries. hmmm. Sometimes it works if its the other way around. Sometimes, no matter, how good you wish things were, no matter what great hopes and dreams you have, sometimes you have to have your chair of bowlies and look forward to what you will make of yourself, what you will make of your life, what you and those you care for and love will make of this experience that we all have in common. Its easy to get by when life is great and wonderful and everything is going your way. Its easy when you get what you want and you see all the answers in life and no matter how hard you try, you still don't fuck up. But when things get you down, when life just sucks from the crack of dawn till the stars come out, its good to know that you can still look to tomorrow and make it a better day. And it doesn't have to be this great stupendous day where everything goes your way, it just has to be a day when you get to laugh with friends, when you get to smile at those yesterday when things were fun and happy. No where in any book of life, or rules to live by does it say that you have to achieve everyday of your life. No where d oes it say that you have to live up to all the expectations that the world has for you. No where does it say that life is easy nor does it say that life is a struggle. Life is what you make it. Life is achieving and failing and laughing and crying and bitching and playing and vegging and everything else. But the thing to remember is that its your life. Its your day every day you wake up. Its your day that you use to its fullest and its your day that you waste and forget about. I thought it appropriate Yesterday was a pretty lackluster day. It really was. And not so much because who I was with because you guys are swell, by golly! But I was in a terrible mood by the end of it. I don't know why. I was feeling a bit melancholy I guess. I get that way sometimes when I think too much about stuff. Worrying whether or not things will just work themselves out. Most of the time things do, be it slowly or right away, they still work themselves out. Friendship isn't supposed to be a selfish thing. its supposed to be something that is shared. Its not exclusive to one person. its not for the benefit of one, but rather the benefit of everyone involved. its unfair to put expectations upon people because of this person or that person or who they're "supposed" to be friends with and not. Friendship is by far the most important relationship that most people are going to have with people. It is one of the strongest bonds people have. It can take so much pressure and survive more than most people think. But there comes a point when even that bond can be broken and we need to be wary of how much we can expect from each other, how far we can pull or push before what we do is more hurtful to that person and to that friendship. This is getting a bit repetitive I've noticed. I don't know why that is. I guess its just on my mind a lot lately. I'll try and put it out. Today is supposed to be a fun filled day of doing stuff. We never really decided what it was we were actually going to do. I know we are eating lunch at Arby's cause well Paige and I decided that was where we wanted to eat after watching an Arby's commercial on TV last night as we were waiting for Wade to get off work. later this evening they are supposed to go and do tae-bo. I haven't decided whether or not I want to participate in said activity. Chances are I will find myself kicking blindly at imaginary objects, my mind working on just who deserve a swift kick to the kidney. Last night after work, we had a short little trip up to Starbucks. There was a ton of people up there. I think Jenni went to school with at least half of them. But people all over the place. Too many people. But Jenni and Chad, Michael and Katherine and myself drank are beverage of choice while the noise of people surrounded us. My mood had already started to deteriorate by then. Work was a big blah fest after my break and it just kept going and going and going as boring as possible. And I thought it would have been better afterwards but it just went down hill after that. Then Jenni, Chad, Michael, and Katherine went to the local Bennigans while I went home to wait for Paige and Wade to show up. Paige was already there, earlier than her projected 11:00 PM arrival time. She was waiting at the door at 10:15. Then we watched the end of Friends until Wade got off work and went to pick him up and went to the Bennigan in downtown fort worth, where the food sucked and the service sucked even more and my mood just plummeted. Christan showed up and drank her water, somehow the waiter dained it within his job description to stop by and check to see if she wanted something. I think his pony tail was pulled to tied and it affected his serving skills. I don't know. Still after Bennigans it was home time. I just plopped down in bed and went to sleep. Best thing for a mood. sleep it off. I'm not near as crabby as I was last night. At least I don't think so. Though by this entry I really can't tell as I haven't had human contact yet. I got up, went and checked the mail, dropped a copy of maxim by the neighbors apartment (they have the same last name as I do) which was misdelivered to my box. Jumped in the swimming pool in my boxers and that felt great. Came inside and decided an update was in order. Although reading over the update I wonder why I was thinking an update was in order, in the first place.. Just a bunch of babbling truthfully. Sorry to put you through it, if you made it this far. |
