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�QUOTE:

People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world. - Calvin


Catharsis:
1 : PURGATION
2 a : purification or purgation of the emotions (as pity and fear) primarily through art b : a purification or purgation that brings about spiritual renewal or release from tension
3 : elimination of a complex by bringing it to consciousness and affording it expression

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Sunday, Aug. 26, 2001 - 9:11 A.M.
I didn't think it was possible. I was certain I would hate it. I went in expecting it to be the longest piece of cinematic dribble put on film for people to watch. Alas. I was wrong. It wasn't all that bad. I would go so far as to say I like it. I laughed. granted there were no belly laughs, no echoing off the screen, but that Might be because so many other people were laughing too. granted most of them who were laughing, were big fans and knew all the inside jokes, but I still liked it. I really did. I'm not ashamed to say it, Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back was not a horrible movie.

the rest of my day since last we talked was pretty blah. Except for lunch with Wade and Paige, it was a humdinger of a blah day.

Derek is transferring to the Denton store, which sucks. I mean really sucks. I mean yeah its good for him, no $200+ gas bill every month for having to drive so far, plus he is moving up there and goes to school there, but still, now I don't have anybody cool to work with. Now some of you might say, well what about Ms Baker, she's fun to work with, or what about Jenni, she'll probably be working there soon, if all goes well, and she's great to work with. All I have to say is, its not the same. Its not. Like I said, it sucks.

Work was pretty blah too. the day stretched and stretched and stretched, until the exact time could not be measure by any scientific instruments, it was such a long day. hopefully tomorrow won't be a long day. I get to spend most of it at a bookfair and not in the store so that's good. I don't have to work with Martha, she'll be gone by the time I get back from the bookfair. I don't have to close. So all in all, tomorrow's work day should be immensely better. But i guess we'll see, huh?

let's just chalk it all up to a long bad day. That's what I am hoping we can do. Cuz otherwise, the way things used to be are going to be the same things were about two weeks ago. It had such great potential. I mean all in all it was a fairly good day, wasn't it. I mean you went to work, went to Dallas for the bookfair. Bookfair was pretty boring as bookfairs go, had to sit and listen to a mystery author babble on for about 30 minutes about herself and not the craft of writing and then another 30 minutes about her books, not how she wrote them, not any wonderful techniques or clues or insight just what she wrote and why and all these wonderfully boring tidbits about her life and where she lived. An hour of my life wasted. We did make $1,200.00 give or take at the bookfair so that was alright. But still. THen we came back to the store and I tried to do as little as possible, you know to match the work output of Derek, which unless I really try, its really difficult. Not that I'm going to allow the boy to leave, okay I am,but still, not working is still hard work. grin. Then after work I came home and waited for the family to show up and we went swimming for about 2 hours until I was prunier than anything. Then we sat around the apartment for a bit while they contemplated going home and hten went home and then my mom was still here for about another 30 minutes doing family tree stuff, which can be exciting, was downright boring and tiring last night. Then she slowly went back home. Called Wade and Jenni to tell them that everyone was gone and that they were welcome to drop in at anytime. Jenni shows up, somewhat down in the dumps about Michael not wanting to meet her for coffee, presumably because she was going to be hanging out with Wade. I handed her the phone to call Michael to make sure everything was okay, she called Jessica, who also wasn't in the most happy of spirits also because Michael was not hanging out with them at Starbucks, then she called Michael, left a message on his voice mail and then called Jessica back persuaded her to spend some quality time with us and then we waited for Wade to arrive. At 10:30 I was ready for bed, I was tired from swimming and working and visiting family all day and had practically fallen asleep as it was, Jenni was on the other end of the couch nearly asleep if not asleep too and Jessica was on the floor as Wade came in. we dragged ourselves from our near coma states and ambled on over to Starbucks, in a car ride that wasn't the most delightful cuz apparently we were all being very snippy. And we were all being very snippy. After a pleasant piece of cheese cake and some mediocre hot chocolate and a rough start at friendly conversation everything seemed to be a bit more relaxed. We went out to Cafe Brazil, which, I hate to say it, was a huge disappointment where the Chicken Nachos are concerned and the air of agitation amongst ourselves went from relaxed to no where near relaxed as things were bantered about like a little foosball. It wasn't pretty. It wasn't ugly, it wasn't loud or anything like that, but it was a quick illustration how two people who can have the best of times with each other can easily be at each others throats if push came to shove.The truth of the matter is, Wade and Jenni's personalities clash, they always have. granted the mesh well too, but, they both have issues with each other that go beyond the last three months and whether or not they are going to get past them and the rest of their past together, that will be the true test as to whether or not they will be friends or not. And it doesn't help much that the last 10 days since the "reconciliation" we have all been together. which in and of itself can sometimes be a bit too much. Really. And lets just face it, it apparently seems way too easy for either of them to not bring up the past. whether it being, relationships, or living arrangements, or friends of friends, or who was right about who and/or what, there is way too much fodder and it doesn't help that when we aren't all hanging out together the fodder keeps getting stirred up by other people in the separate friendship areas on either said of the mason dixon line that is Wade and Jenni. If they are going to be friends, then good for them, if your going to bring up crap and throw it in each others faces, whether it be blatant or oh so subtle, then "oh my gawd" I don't want to sit through it. I really don't.

Its not going to be back thae way things used to be and if it is, then there's going to be a big blow up in the next few days...weeks....months and then you'll either start over again, or you won't. I'm thinking won't. So if you are going to be friends, you're going to have to try for yourselves, not for ANYBODY or ANYTHING else. but for your firenship's sake. leave all the petty shit behind, let bygones be bygones, and history be history and start fresh, or let the hell go of each other.

So anyways....on that happy note, I think I am going to go and get ready for a fun filled day at work. No really, it'll be fun, and then maybe I can go and drive a nail through my right hand (I don't use that one anyway, I can still write the great american novel or short story) and scream in exhilerating pain and the grimace on my face will express the sheer joy and excitement I will be having for the next 8 hours at work selling all the buying public books. OH f*cking boy!

Suppose to go to 24hour fitness tonight after work and then i am going to go home, if I am not too tired I am going to go swimming afterwards and then I am going to stay home and go to sleep at a reasonable hour cuz then i have to wake up and go to classes. I'm already tired. my next day off from work isn't until Friday and Saturday, so I am already tired and I feel a sudden urge to have some INFP time, big time.

I am sorry that last night ended up being the shits. Really I am. And this entry is a bit on the jaded side, but I guess that's alright. the good thing is that I left it on good terms with everybody....right.

neurosis ~ catharsis