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�QUOTE:

People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world. - Calvin


Catharsis:
1 : PURGATION
2 a : purification or purgation of the emotions (as pity and fear) primarily through art b : a purification or purgation that brings about spiritual renewal or release from tension
3 : elimination of a complex by bringing it to consciousness and affording it expression

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Wednesday, Oct. 17, 2001 - 11:32 A.M.
D'you ever wonder what it is that causes an attraction, that deepens an attraction that solidifies and grounds the emotional ties that turn attraction to love?

I mean aside from the superficial. And most times I think it doesn't get beyond that superficial level. Love in the name of beauty. COurse I guess I am getting way ahead of myself. I mean I guess you have to start out with lust. I mean the very first thing we associate with someone is their looks. Anyone who says otherwise is kidding themselves. I am not saying that it stays that superficial, but a visual appeal is the first thing that draws you to a person. Now I remind myself that sitting in any open public forum, I would be able to dissuade myself of said dictum, because I look around and I can point out such odd couples and I doubt myself of the very notion that I am contemplating. But beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Its a struggle to remember that what I find beautiful, isn't what everyone else finds beautiful. So from this perspective, I can easily jump to the idea that attraction is first visual. Sometimes it stops here. Sometimes it moves forward into personality, character, those things we become familiar with, those things that are of more importance than the superficial. What is it then that changes this attraction into emotion?

Comfort, trust, ease, happiness, joy, there is a whole range of emotional and physiological responses that come from being in the presence of a person. Do these all foster the notion of love. Or are these some of the many attributes of love.

I wonder sometimes if I have ever loved anyone. I think I have.

I mean I know when I am not in love. But how do I know when I am?

I don't know where that was going. I'm in contemplation mode right now. You'll have to forgive me that.

Yesterday was a good day. Not a great day in the great scheme of things, but a good day all the same. I really didn't do much. Not really. I did finally do my laundry. I straightened up the apartment. Ambled on over to the mall and had lunch with Wade,during which he tried to squiggle his way out of the Wednesday night gathering of people for a birthday dinner for yours truly. I was having none of it. Anyone who doesn't want to come because of someone else being there, well that's just too bad I suppose. As I said I was having none of it. THen I went and got my haircut. It was looking pretty sad. So I had it killed. From now on, when you go to get your hair cut, remember these things, you know just in case. Mints, deodorant, and or a fake hearing aid turned to the off position. There is nothing worse that having someone cutting your hair, leaning over you and being a little more fragrant than the eau de toilette that they splashed on in a hurry on their way out the door running late for work, I am hoping. I am going to have to carry around a tin of altoids cuz, and I know this is stereotypical, but she wouldn't shut up. talking about this and that ands well halitosis, not a good thing.

After my hair cut and a quick stop outside the haircut place in front of the first reflective surface I rearranged my stylist rendition of what I wanted and ambled on homeward.

Derek was on his way into work as I was leaving. I would have stayed and talked to him at work a bit, but Martha was still there and as much as I enjoy talking to Derek, Martha doesn't like me talking to Derek.... Have I told you how much I just love that woman. Anyway I went back home, almost finished the Stephen King book, I have like a chapter left, one little bitty tiny little chapter left and then I am done....sigh. Anyway watched a little TV, called up to the store a couple times, had to hang up on Martha couple of times before I finally talked to Derek for a bit. We're ordering this Russian CD set put out by Pimsleur. Gonna get a copy and he is going to burn a copy for himself. Anyway I had to call up there with the ISBN and he had to order it. It was ordered for Crusty Pickle......lolol......well I thought it was funny and so did he. Anyway then the ladies called, the ladies being Jenni, Jess and Katherine and they invited me to go with them to Soup or Salad. I had a Dr pepper while the girls pigged out. granted he was at work they did. called zipper while we were there. he was feeling neglected since the girls didn't invite him. granted he was at work, so the girls surmised, so they didn't invite him. poor Michael. invited him over to the apartment for the watching of Scrubs,although he doesn't like much TV. he didn't sound like he wanted to. So after soup or salad, we returned chez moi and waited for wade and Paige to get there. everyone showed up, even Michael, and we watched the show (really hilarious funny stuff) and everyone had a nice tall drink, except for Jess and Paige, who didn't imbibe anything but water or Dr pepper. I had a huge overflowing shot of grand marnier...mmmm.mmmmm good.

Class starts in an hour, and then my day is open till this dinner thing tonight. I know I am going to be embarrassed, there is evil afoot. You wouldn't think that a birthday, mine especially, would cover three days worth of activity. Anyway I have to go now. Read me later.

neurosis ~ catharsis