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�QUOTE:

People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world. - Calvin


Catharsis:
1 : PURGATION
2 a : purification or purgation of the emotions (as pity and fear) primarily through art b : a purification or purgation that brings about spiritual renewal or release from tension
3 : elimination of a complex by bringing it to consciousness and affording it expression

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2000-11-19 - 00:55:49
MEEEEEEOOOOOOWWWWWWW!

That, my friends is the cat out of the proverbial bag.

did I just earlier mention to you about something momentus to want to put in the trusty ol' diary. well somebosy cut my fingers off.

Okay so its not too terrible really. I mean its not like there's nothing she doesn't already know,right. I mean she knows, I think, that I love her. I mean I hope she knows. So anyway I'm talking to her online, her playing her game of spades, she lost by the way, and then we are talking some more and I had mentioned that I was writing in my diary and then i mention how I am addicted to reading some of them and send her to diaryland and she decides she is going to get a diaryland website too and then she is going to be reading mine tomorrow and I am thinking to myself. Okay just what did i say. I know I didn't say anything terrible. At least i say that now. But my devious little mind then starts to think, coverup. I mean there is a function where you can go in and, we'll use the political term here, "edit" your entries. but then I thought, now why should i do that.

Still it leaves that feeling in the pit of your stomach, where your insecurity and self doubt are having a 10 round knock'em down til they bleed fight in there. If you were here you could probably feel it too through osmosis.

Anyway. its probably pretty silly to worry about it. Worried though. needlessly. yeah keep telling yourself that.

okay just thought this might express in some way the overpowering anxiety that I am feeling. WHY! mel if you found this. I hope it was insightful. I am going to have to go back and read this just to see what you are going to be reading. turns to the pc cam and says to self. I will not change anything , I promise.

so there you have it. those of you who didn't get your perseverence medal earlier, step right up

neurosis ~ catharsis