�stalk:
email
notes
guestbook

�FRIENDS:
Derek
Wade
Paige
Jessica

�QUOTE:

People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world. - Calvin


Catharsis:
1 : PURGATION
2 a : purification or purgation of the emotions (as pity and fear) primarily through art b : a purification or purgation that brings about spiritual renewal or release from tension
3 : elimination of a complex by bringing it to consciousness and affording it expression

�SENSES:
Listening:



Reading:



Watching:

2000-11-24 - 01:20:39
so the day has come and gone, Thanksgiving Day. It wasn't the most eventful of days. something on this side of boring actually. The Cowboys lost, not that that comes as a surprise, but all the same you can hope for an alternate outcome. Watched teh Lions beat the Patriots, that was a good game.

And of course I ate my turkey and dressing and green bean caserole and mashed potatoes and rolls and drank my iced tea and all the while I was thinking how bored i was . If it were for my nephew, the best nephew on the planet it would have been like every other family get together we have had. Not that it was bad, it was just the same. I didn't expect it to be momentus or anything. I did get my DVD player from my brother though, under previously mentioned covert activiies described.

Am I self centered and egotistical. Do I have to have others in my life. Do I want others in my life.

Yes and no to the first one. everything in my life does revolve around me, if it is my life. I have to live with every action and thought that i have or do, so I have to be self centered, right. AM I egotistical. No. I have an ego, to a degree but everyone does. I don't think I'm overly egotistical at all. I don't have that much to be egotistical about.

Do i want or need people in my life. yes. I can easily get by and be content with teh way things are. But I don't just want to get by. I want to feel and LIVE and love and fear. those are the things that make us human.

I don't know why I am talking about this. When you are sitting alone after an evening filled with family, thinking about it seemed bound to happen. my mother was sad to see us all go. And truthfully I could have stayed but I didn't want to. I know I am a good son. I didn't do anything wrong, I just wanted to go home.

I give of myself. i shouldn't be the one giving of myself all the time. But i usually do. I don't mind though I just wish sometimes i wasn't the one who was on the giving end. Not that i should be on the receiving end. I don't know really. i wonder if I am being honest with my self about that. I like getting stuff and having people do stuff for me just as much as I enjoy doing stuff for other people. I do like to give of myself.

illumination/grey clouds cold wet rain/falling in sunlight

It rained all day today. I hate it when it does that. it puts me in a melancholy mood. Something that I don't like. Sometimes rain is kinda cool. like when it pours and paints everything shiny as the grey clouds lighten and the sun tries to work its way back through the clouds. When it splashes down in huge raindrops that hit everything musically at the beginning before it all soaks. the other day when I was watching the webcam from Philadelphia and it looked like it was raining and the street light with its yellow circle of light illuminating the falling flakes of snow. The snow fell so hard and fast it looked like rain. Which of course made me miss our winter weather storm that we were supposed to be having. they are forecasting rain for the next several days which really lifts my spirits a great deal. A day of rain even two is fine. Moree than that in a row is just depressing.

Mel is over in Arkansas right now. this is my official thinking of her moment. I was thinking of her earlier to wishing I was with her and her family.

This is a boring entry. I don't know what I am talking about nor am I writing in any sort of direction. It is directionless. needs pointed in another direction.

I guess I should go and try this again another time.

I have to work tomorrow morning. Its good that I work during the day shift but unfortunately it being the day after t-day I have to open at 7:00. Lots of fun stuff to look forward to. If all goes well my next entry will be better.

neurosis ~ catharsis