�stalk:
email
notes
guestbook

�FRIENDS:
Derek
Wade
Paige
Jessica

�QUOTE:

People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world. - Calvin


Catharsis:
1 : PURGATION
2 a : purification or purgation of the emotions (as pity and fear) primarily through art b : a purification or purgation that brings about spiritual renewal or release from tension
3 : elimination of a complex by bringing it to consciousness and affording it expression

�SENSES:
Listening:



Reading:



Watching:

2001-02-14 - 15:58:13
So, Valentine's Day has arrived. and I have to say, I am romantic as the next person,. Probably more so because, well I just am. Just seeing her eyes sparkle, the smile, the rose, everything about it can be a mesmerising moment that if done perfectly can impassion the heart and mind.

Unfortunately, this year, the heart ain't in it.

Quite to the contrary the heart is a little out of it. The heart says, who gives a flying rip. I would go on and on about just how fleeting love appears to be right now, but how inspiring a read worthy would that be. so I'll just mosey on to more depressing topics of conversation.

I won at bowling again last night. twice. I was off my first game. Granted none of the high scores even reached the triple digit mark. You know its bad when your bowling scores could double as the combination to our school locker. It was sad really. Then we went to Bennigans where I had to have some desert. I was still a bit full from dinner with carolyn. We ate at Chili's where I hada the monterrey chicken, twice,, well actually the first time it was burnt, so we sent it back and the second time, almost 30 minutes later I had to get it in a to go box, because well i had some miserable bowling to do before the night was over. Plus I filled up on chips and dr pepper.

SO I had brownie bottom pie, which for dessert was pretty damn good.

This morning since I am taking a personal day at work I decided to sleep late. just got out of bed about 10 minutes ago. 10:50. that's sort of late. I did listen to the alarm clock. I guess I could have turned it off. But daylight tends to wake me up anyway. The sky outside is appropos for the day. Ugly grey and miserable.

You know the sad thing, and its not really sad, is that I want all the love and emotion that is supposed to go with this day. Even though technically, it really isn't a holiday but a grand marketing scheme on the parts of the cardmakers and chocolatiers of America to squeeze in a big moneymaker. Ah capitalism. Never an end in sight. I was surifing around on the net in hopes of finding anti valentines day stuff, and well I had no trouble at all

The sad thing is I am sitting at my desk looking around, wondering what more to write and I happen upon all this roamntic crap that I wrote down at work the other day talking about love and stuff and I can only sigh. I wrote it down in the diary a couple of weeks ago, maybe longer but still I have to write this one again ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I love you

the more that I believe

you have liked me for my

own sake and for nothing else - john keats

AND

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I love you, those three words have my life in them. - ?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

how do I long to tread for the first time

the road that will bring me in sight of

Grasmere...to see, to touch you, to speak

to you and hear you speak...let me not then be

disappointed, but give me your heart that

I may kiss the words a thousand times -william wordsworth

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I don't know how long you've b een reading me, but I went to grasmere last year, in England. If there ever was/is a place where love can be truly inspired by the nature around it, this is the place. It was beautiful. I saw Wordsworth grave too, hidden tin the shadows under the boughs of trees in this small country graveyard. Quiet and peaceful, a brook trickling by beyond the woods. It was beautiful. I want to go back.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

this is to let you know

that all I feel for you

can never wholly go

I love you and miss you, even two

hours away

with all my heart, this is to let

you know - noel coward
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

okay a little self agrandizing on my part.

the moment I fell in love

she was as close as my shadow

but I could not hold her

or feel her at my side

but I saw her, smelled her,

wanted her, needed her

the moment

I fell in love

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So close

I brush up against you

not knowing what to say

I blush, you smile

your eyes aglow

I'm flustered, embarassed

certain you see through me

through my facade

to my love for you

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Intimate strangers on that

glorious twilight and

struggles between virtue and vice

passions in the dying light

black and white I see it and call it

love
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I dreamt of you last night

or at least I think I did

I don't remember, . . .but I feel

you in my thoughts and in my head

your smile, your eyes, your lips

you

in my head, when I close my eyes -andrew hobbs
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is love to me, something that is ever present ever wonderful ever filling my heart and my mind and those waking moments when I think of her I can only hope I never lose these feelings

To all of you who are happily in love, i wish you the very best of what this day represents, minus the cards and the spending, but all the love and emotion and intensity that is love.

Okay, now somebody put ke out of my misery. this was supposed to be an anti valentine's day message. Curses. Foiled again!

neurosis ~ catharsis