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People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world. - Calvin


Catharsis:
1 : PURGATION
2 a : purification or purgation of the emotions (as pity and fear) primarily through art b : a purification or purgation that brings about spiritual renewal or release from tension
3 : elimination of a complex by bringing it to consciousness and affording it expression

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Friday, Feb. 01, 2002 - 1:00 A.M.
What doors are open, what doors are closed. What does the future hold for us and with whom will we spend it. I remember when I was little, I had it all figured out. I really did. I was 10, my parents were still married, we were living down in Fort Hood, I had a girlfriend, Anne Marie Kingston, and we were picking out the names for our future kids, I know the boy was going to be named Christian, I can't quite recall the girls name anymore, and we were going to live happily ever after.

A year later, my parents were divorced, Anne Marie Kingston and her family had moved away and well. . .life went on, just on a new and different course. My parents hated each other, or rather my mother didn't really like my dad in the first place, believing she married below herself (and who tells their children that?) whereas I believe my father still loved my mother. All in all the next 10 years or so were not how I had planned them to be. Truth be told it still isn't how I would have planned it. Its a shame we can't look at the future and plan the future with the wide eyed innocence of a 10 year old all the time, and take the disappointments and altercations that come up with the same stride. Its a shame that life becomes less flexible and pliable and we become more unyielding and determined to have things

our way. its a shame that instead of looking to the future and letting it be what it is going to be, we look back and see all the things we did wrong and think to ourselves how we would have done them differently. Its a shame that truth and consequences are such a burden that truth seldom sees the light of day and night finds us often times with wet cheeks and and heavy hearts. Its a shame that we take love for granted until its gone and getting it back again is the only thing we have on our minds for the longest time. (We had a short discussion, or rather rediscussion about Apollo and Daphne today. The myth is one that to me seems so tragically romantic. And we were talking about Eros, Aphrodite, and Venus and how Venus is often times viewed as cruel and harsh and how falling in love and all that other stuff that seems to burden the heart, my heart, everyone's heart, is so very much against our will, so very much a force all its own. When does lust and attraction turn to love? When does love begin? And on the reverse side of the coin, when does it end? When does it change from passion and fire and hope and wishes to friendship or indifference and ambivalence or worse still to pain and heartache.

My mind is feeling abit scatter-brained as you might have noticed. At least its sounding abit scatter-brained to me at the moment.

Being 10 wasn't so bad, once upon a time.

My day in a nutshell

You'll be happy to know that I was a very good student today. Okay, Very Good? No, that's stretching it a bit, I'm sure. But Derek and I did make it to all our classes today, except I guess Anthropology, which is the television course. I'd like to submit some sort of excuse for not watching, but truth be told at the time of the class, I think I was being killed in an XBOX game over at Derek's until about 12:30. I will be the first to admit before you hear it from somebody else, that I am not very good computer, but its still was a lot of fun. I think I have a callous on my thumb though. it's very tender. The sad thing about this last paragraph is that this is the whole of my day. I did make myself an italian omelette after school. I did go up to the mall and got me a controller and a memory unit and I bought Oddworlds Munchee so that I can play with Derek. What else? That is my day. I watched Friends. It was Thursday afterall, and they don't call it Must See TV for nothing you and I taped the last installment of Rose Red, by my favoritest of authors, though it didn't get very good reviews at all, the first installment was good. Completely missed the second installment though. But I figure it will be on dvd soon enough before summer I would think.

Other than that, I was monotony personified. And with that uplifting note, I am out of here.

read me later, oh and sign my guestbook or leave me a note in my notes section. Its the least you could do, for reading all the way down to the bottom

neurosis ~ catharsis