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september 11
Wednesday, Sept. 11, 2002 - 12:15 A.M. We did go out to eat this evening at Hoffbrau steakhouse and my brother paid, so it ain't all that bad. We then spent a whopping 50 cents at the "dollar theatre" to watch "Reign of Fire" i have to tell you, it left something to be desired. But I knew that ahead of time. my critical source can be right sometimes. :) Other than that, my day has been uneventful. we got to take our first official roles of photographs today. of flat things without dimension. like walls and other things that look flat. Then we developed. Which if you must know is a long and tedious process. but they turned alright so far. We haven't printed them yet I have to take another role by thursday i think other than that, Ive just been a bit contemplative of the day in general. Well among other things. But mostly september 11. a whole year has gone by and I feel strangely detached from what happened a year ago. i was thinking about it just now, reading wade's entry about what he is going to do tomorrow. work is letting us wear jeans and all, as if that is going to make everything all good and patriotic. I remember going to lunch with friends that day, everyone stopping here first,coming straight from school when they heard and we all sat around, stunned and speechless, aghast at the destruction and loss of life. I remember having dinner with Wade that night at Bennigan's feeling a heavy darkness weighing me down. I remember the silent skies above us, so unusual living next to the second busiest airport in the world. (A jet plane is flying right as i speak.) I remember the eerie silence of it all. i remember the first plane we saw flying into the airport and the thought goingthrough my mind,what if a terrorist is on that plane. I rememberthe idea of joining the military and feeling that feeling of not wanting to have to kill people. I thought about my brother, who just returned from Afghanistan a week ago and is now snoring somewhat softly in the living room and how he would be going over there. I remember the swell of patriotism the enveloped the country. I've always liked the road that leads alongthe mall where i work because there are several car dealerships lining the freeway and they all have giant flags that if you look from my porch are a glorious vision in the sunset. all month we've been inundated with september 11. Most of August too. Most of the past year we've had constant reminders and those images that have scarred our psyche our ever present in the American media. It is not anything we shall ever forget. it is in our collective memory. it is one of those moments when we say, "I remember where I was when...." I have candles. I've burned them off and on all year long. I bought aproximately 800 tea candles that i wanted to burn for those who suffered on september 11. the truth of the matter is that we all suffered though, we suffer still. some of us more than others, New York, Pennsylvania, and Washington more than most but I'll light my candles for you too starting tomorrow. for all of you. I'll light my candles for all of us, for hope, for possibility, for peace. We mourn the 3,000 plus that lost their lives tragically a year ago today, but perhaps those candles, mine and yours and everyone's across this nation and the world who will mourn with us tomorrow, the light will be our guide to a better tomorrow. That was light and cheery wasn't it? I'm gonna go now
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