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People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world. - Calvin


Catharsis:
1 : PURGATION
2 a : purification or purgation of the emotions (as pity and fear) primarily through art b : a purification or purgation that brings about spiritual renewal or release from tension
3 : elimination of a complex by bringing it to consciousness and affording it expression

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Monday, Feb. 11, 2002 - 12:47 P.M.
I know I had another entry earlier but she called and left a message on my machine. I'm not mad at her. I don't hate her. I don't think she is a terrible person. I can't imagine why anyone would think that I would never want to talk to them. Especially someone who has meant and means so much to me. The other night when she didn't come I was thinking to myself how stupid I felt. And I realize now, its not that I was feeling stupid, but rather, I was feeling worthless. I mean honestly. It was irrational to feel that way, I know, but I did. I mean I know she cares for me a great deal. I know she thinks the world of me. I know she holds me in high regard. I know all of this stuff, but when she does this, and I guess if it were the first time I wouldn't feel so badly, but its not the first time, it tends to leave me feeling, unimportant, and worthless. Be it true or not. Fortunately I know its not true. And even more fortunately I have some amazing friends around me that reinforce the truth and not the irrational doubts I have about that, about me.

And if you read this, you ARE NOT a sorry person. Don't belittle yourself to me. I know better. You are a wonderful sweet precious person to me and while I was hurt, I'll rebound. I'm strong. I can perservere.

neurosis ~ catharsis