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Excuse me have you seen any sleep in here
Sunday, Feb. 17, 2002 - 4:20 A.M. in the freakin mornin Do you ever wonder just where you fit in, or better yet, if you fit in at all? Who you're supposed to be, who everyone else thinks you're supposed to be, or who they expect you to be? I do. I wonder why my friends are my friends. I wonder about how they see me and why they see me that way. I wonder about my family, and why I am so unlike all of them. And about my friends and how we are so different and yet the thought of them not being in my life is a difficult concept to grasp. I wonder about the people who hold special places in my heart. Why I feel the way I do about them. What made them so special out of all the people I've met that these people have made it past the guards and the walls and the barriers and now they are inside. I wonder about that special person who will share my life, who will make me laugh and make me love. I wonder about my insecurities and what they will do to these relationships. Will I overcome them. Will I perservere. Will I fail and lose them. I wonder aboutthe possibilities of my life and what i will achieve and accomplish. Will I write that great american novel. Will I ever teach in front of a classroom. Will I be respected and looked up to. Will I be loved. Will I be a success or a failure. Will I be all that I can be. I wonder about the truth and what makes it true and why it isn't true somewhere else or to someone else. I wonder about God and why He has created a world that has become what it is. I wonder about whether or not I fit in this great scheme of things. And it occurs to me that everybody wonders this. Because life is a mystery. What we live, who we are, where we fit is each day revealed to us. I don't know what tomorrow will bring or who or where I will go. I can't worry about that. I can but wish and dream and hope and pray and believe that my life will be full and happy and filled with joy and love and happiness. That my friends will be by my side. That my heart will find its mate. That whatever truths I learn will be universal. That this life that I lead will be fulfilled. I wonder do I fit in.
Today was one of those rare days at work where it went by quickly and painlessly. I didn't get to work with anyone good except for Ms Baker, a delightful lady who makes me do all the work, but you kinda get past that eventually. We had a bookfair at the North Texas Romance Authors meeting at La Hacienda Ranch restaurant. We did a horrible $400 in business but I got afree meal out of it so I am not complaining. It was Chicken Quesadillas. One of my all time favorite foods recently. After work I moseyed on home for a bit and enjoyed a couple of hours of peace and quiet. At 7:00 ish PM, Wade, Paige,Derek and I went to watch Crossroads (the new Britney Spears movie) And I ahve to say it wasn't bad at all. I was expecting it to be mediocre at best but it was good. I was surprised. I was also surprised by the fact that she remind me a lot of Katie Holmes who I find one of the most beautiful actresses I have ever seen. She is oh my god beautiful. But the movie was good. We ate dinner at Dick Clark's Rockin Cafe or something like that. It was good. Afterwards I came home, talked to Wade on the telephone and to Derek on IM and then I thought a short entry would be in order, thought provoking and all. Now I have to go to bed cuz it 4:22 in the am and I have to be at work at 10:00 so I will talk at you later |
