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People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world. - Calvin


Catharsis:
1 : PURGATION
2 a : purification or purgation of the emotions (as pity and fear) primarily through art b : a purification or purgation that brings about spiritual renewal or release from tension
3 : elimination of a complex by bringing it to consciousness and affording it expression


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it's 2:44. Or is it? Am I right or what

Sunday, Feb. 24, 2002 - 2:44 A.M.
Can I be a bit freaky for a moment. Good. DO you believe there is magic in a touch. That there is a psychic exchange between people when they touch? Not exactly the ESP paranormal type psychic, but in a way just that. Sometimes I think there is.

We were supposed to go see a play tonight. Okay technically, we were supposed to go see the play tomorrow night, but somebody, lets not mention names here people, that would just be wrong, but somebody had the date wrong so we ended up driving out to Dallas and eating an early dinner at Cafe Brazil, and tehn heading on over to Theatre Three only to discover that it was the wrong date. Silly, huh?

Its amazing how we feel like we are right all along, that sometimes in the back of your head you know something but you don't listen, you think, no that can't be right and so you go on believing what you "think" is right only to find out that yup, you're wrong. Its not just the simple things that we do this with, but lots of things. Who we love, who we hate, who loves you, who hates you. We all have ideas, we all have these notions, we think that it has to be this or that, or him or her, only in the back of your mind do you have this feeling, like a gut feeling that is saying "No, you have it all wrong. Its Sunday, not Saturday you big freak!" Anyway sometimes its completely the opposite of what you thought it was supposed to be. The silly thing is, when you first start out, you have it right, but by the end, at the point where you are looking for your seat and you see that there are people sitting in the seats you are supposed to be sitting in, this is when you realize, nope not tonight, tomorrow night. But by this point you've already asked off for the wrong day, you have inventory the next day and well, all in all you're pretty screwed. "SIGH" Oh well.

Isn't that a great analogy for life, right there?

I thought so too.

I wonder sometimes if I am making a mistake about something. I mean, the answers are right in front of me, i can do this, or I can do that. Both have consequences, but I want to be right the first time. And being right the first time means that it has to go my way and not the other. Without that guarantee, then what's the use. And the sad thing is that there is no guarantee. No matter how much you want one, it doesn't mean you are going to get one. Does it? Nope, no guarantee at all. So you don't act and inaction is surely a mistake, right?

How clear is that, perfectly I am sure.

I have a friend who is going through a lot of crap right now. I wish he wasn't, I wish it was all easier for him. I'm afraid he is going to get hurt. I am afraid he is making decision for all the wrong reasons. I mean yes, they are good reasons, they are. Honorable, noble reasons, I think even, but in the long run, I worry...

The good thing though is I get to be there for him, to give him a hand up, or a shoulder to lean on if he need it.

Sometimes what we feel is more powerful than what we think. In English we are learning the romantic period, and they were all about feeling as opposed to thinking. Thinking is overrrated and limited whereas feeling, feeling has no bounds. It is feeling and passion that lead us to do the things we do. I would go so far as to venture that if we didn't have feelings and passion, then the things we think would have no meaning, because we wouldn't have feelings or passion for them. does that make sense? Imagine what your feelings for someone lead you to do. It isn't your thoughts that rule your actions, but your feeling. And for a romantic, it is a troublesome thing indeed.

My heart leads me so I know of what i speak. Sometimes I wish it weren't so.

I'm a little bit sleepy now so I am going to go to bed. I'll write again later.

neurosis ~ catharsis