�stalk:
email
notes
guestbook

�FRIENDS:
Derek
Wade
Paige
Jessica

�QUOTE:

People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world. - Calvin


Catharsis:
1 : PURGATION
2 a : purification or purgation of the emotions (as pity and fear) primarily through art b : a purification or purgation that brings about spiritual renewal or release from tension
3 : elimination of a complex by bringing it to consciousness and affording it expression

�SENSES:
Listening:
Beautiful Disaster by Kelly "American Idol" Clarkson


Reading:
Transformation by Carol Berg


Watching:
the ceiling fan just whirling around and around :)

Monday, May. 05, 2003 - 11:32 P.M.
It bothers me that I haven't updated recently. I don't know why. COurse it seems to be going around. Not that there has been anything to update with. Every thing and every one seems to be a bit on the lack luster side for the past couple of weeks. I don't know why. I won't even venture to put forth my suspicions because well what would I know about it all.

This weeks is finals weeks. Which seems so odd. the year is practically half over. Where the hell did it go? Honestly. It seems like January was just yesterday, but apparently that's not the case at all. This year has been pretty shitty all the way around. I mean not so much for me, but it seems that everyone else has had a crap year and I've been feeling it. I don't know what.

I told you I got Mel that autographed book of Kathleen Woodiwiss' but I still haven't even mailed it to her. I don't know why that is. Why I'm so hesitant. Maybe I don't want to send it. Maybe I'm perturbed that I've ben relegated to such a low priority in her life. That it is just her life now and I'm on the outside looking in, having to clean a spot on a dust covered window to see in. I know that its just.....what.....what is it?

I'm taking a vacation, the first week of june. I'm thinking maybe somewhere by myself. I'm thinking I want to go back to california. Just picking a spot and being a native for a week then coming back home. Some place by the beach. I don't know.

I'm suddenly feeling a bit torn. Being pulled every which way. I don't know why. Or maybe I do and I just don't want to put it to words. I need to get away.

remember london? Remember how you missed everybody when you left? and how you couldn't wait to get back to see everybody, how you wished they were there with you? Is that what you want, to go somewhere only to wish they were there too....
That's what's going through my head right now. the only thing is, the people that I want to go with me most of all, can't go with me together.
meh, whatcha gonna do? No wonder you're feeling torn, among other things.

neurosis ~ catharsis