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People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world. - Calvin


Catharsis:
1 : PURGATION
2 a : purification or purgation of the emotions (as pity and fear) primarily through art b : a purification or purgation that brings about spiritual renewal or release from tension
3 : elimination of a complex by bringing it to consciousness and affording it expression

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Tuesday, May. 20, 2003 - 3:37 A.M.
You know when you have a pissy day, you expect at some point its got to get better. Work will end and you'll go home and or do something that should lift your spirits a little, but no the slow descent into pissy-ness continues to the point that all you want to do is go to sleep. ALas its 4:30 in the morning and sleep evades me and

Life, life is all about how you play the game, isn't it? I'm beginning to think that. I'm also beginning to think that maybe I was better off way back when, when I didn't let anybody in, when I kept myself behind a proverbial wall and just went day to day where nobody was important to me and so when something stupid happened then it would be just that, something stupid that wouldn't deserve my attention or any sort of emotional involvement. That seems to be the case with everyone around me, well no, not everyone, just those who are trying to figure out what or who they are. Kinda makes a person feel unimportant, or worse, makes you feel about as important as everyone else, especially when you know how people feel about everyone else.

Leads me to wonder just how much room people have for other people in their lives, how many people other people can we fit in, how big of a circle of frineds can we support.

Is one it? Two? Maybe three? Whatever the case may be, I'd like to know so I can concentrate on that number too.

I see you've decided to come back and scribble some more. It's nice to know that you did something besides blow off my dinner invitation or call me back. You know I feel stupid saying that, or thinking in such a petty way. I'd like to think that I'm better than that, but I guess I'm not. I guess it shouldn't have surprised me. Again. I guess you've taken it to heart that the only person you have to please, the only person you have to connect with is you, which makes everyone else's efforts worthless. Its a great way to feel at the end of the day.

As you can see, I'm perturbed. Whether I should be or not is a moot point because I am. I think I am going to go to sleep now.

neurosis ~ catharsis