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A trip to remember
Monday, Mar. 18, 2002 - 5:29 P.M. My apologies for the late entry. The "luxury" hotel was only a luxury hotel if you wanted to pay for every friggin thing which included an extra $9.95 a day for internet access. so I had to do the next best thing and write my entries in Word and cut and paste. I was going to edit most of it, but decided other than the misspelling that it should stay the same. Which I figure might annoy someone, but if that is the case, they can talk to me if they want The great California adventure. It was a long long long long drive, I don�t think you realize just how long a drive it is unless of course you�ve driven it and well if you�ve driven it then you are well aware as to how long of a road trip it is. But since our original plan was to have a road trip, it turned out all right. Granted I think by the end of the ride out here our driver, mostly Derek as he drove all but the 4 hours or so that Paige drove. we were all more than ready to get the hell out of the car and into the hotel. Fortunately there wasn�t any wait once we got to LA. Usually check in is at 3:00 but the hotel wasn�t full by any standard so we got there at 11:00 ish and were welcome to go to the hotel room. We accepted gratefully. Our hotel in LA (West Hollywood) was the Wyndham Bel Age as you might recall and it was a really nice hotel. 4 star according to Expedia.com but AAA only gave it 3 diamonds so, go figure. But very nice, in the heart of West Hollywood, which turns out to be something of the Oaklawn of LA. It was a very nice hotel, a very nice neighborhood. Monday was an okay day. There was a little tension, I guess you could call it, everyone was tired and we just more less walked around and had a good day. I had a good day. The only bad thing was that on the way to California we did get pulled over for speeding in a podunk little town outside of Wichita Falls call Iowa Park. Derek of course was none too pleased. Other than that and a necessary stop at a scary gas station because there was an amazing amount of junk food that didn�t sit too well with our illustrious citation driver, the trip out was good. Long, but good. The night driving was somewhat enchanting, At least to me. The oncoming traffic in New Mexico looked like drops of light dripping from the sky. It was really beautiful. The sunrise in the eastern part of California was beautiful as well. The sky was lovely, the mountains throwing shadows and the moon a sliver of white in the sky. It was beautiful. My first sight of LA was something of a let down. Traffic wasn�t so bad at all,. Derek had no problem driving. He already has that LA mentality when it comes to driving. And of course it didn�t hurt that we�re in a fairly large car so he has a power thing. The hotel itself was cool. It was very nice and aside from the extra 20 dollars a night for valet parking, it was incredibly nice, the room was big, we had a balcony and it was situated very nicely. Tuesday we went to Disneyland and Disneyland California Adventure. it was a pretty cool. DIsneyland itself was much better that CA adventure. We only road one ride in CA ADV, the Ferris Wheel, which was really cool. Well I reckon that�s just a matter of opinion. I think Derek would have been happy as shit not to have stepped into that little cage, which he had dubbed hell. Paige enjoyed it so much she slobbered all over herself. We paid $8 for McDonald�s and did some shopping before we head off to Disneyland. It was much more cooler. We road the Star Tours, which was okay, the Indiana Jones adventure, which was pretty cool. and The Matterhorn which was probably the best ride. I thought so anyway. We took lots of pictures in toon town. We spent the whole day there and when we got back to the hotel, Paige and I decided to stay at the hotel, while Derek and Wade decided a night out at RAGE, a local club, would do the trick. I�m going to assume that Derek enjoyed himself immensely, and Wade not so much. They came back and well the rest of the evening, not so good. It would be good if it was all forgotten, but I don�t think it will be for a while. Unfortunately. It was something of a dire situation for awhile I think there will be some hurtles to over come perhaps in the future. Wednesday morning was all good though. Everyone had either blocked out what had happened, had de-emphasized its importance, or forgot all about it, making unimportant the events of the evening. Whether that is a good idea or not, I don�t know. Who knows, But anyway Wednesday everything is back to normal. I was apparently having a mood, apparently to other people. I was. I shouldn�t have been. I was tired. I was cranky. I was pondering a lot of what I heard . It didn�t leave me feeling very well about things. But that is neither here nor there so I won�t worry about it anymore. Hopefully. after awhile I will realize there was a lot of drinking involved and so hopefully it was the crown talking but ,..... Anyway, I seemed to be obsessing about it. I don�t want to obsess. But wade told me, that he didn�t appreciate when we talked about him and then he was doing just that among other things. It bothers me that he would hold me to a separate standard. And I know he was saying stuff about me and others that he really had no place talking about. But I guess there�s nothing to be said about it. If he doesn�t feel any remorse for what he said, or for believing what he does about what he said, there really is nothing that I can do about it but accept it and move on. I can�t change what other people believe. I�m not going to worry about it. At least I am going to try and forget everything that I heard and chalk it up to over active emotions and alcohol. Wednesday was a good day. with little or no residue of the night before. Except for how tired I was, trying to make Wade feel better and persuade him not to go back home. I don�t know. SOmewhere from the time that I left the room and walked around the neighborhood, I went into the bookstores, There is this one bookstore called Booksoup that was really cool. I bought breakfast at a small bakery/cafe on the corner and drinks from the am pm gas station and by the time I got back, everything appeared to be all better. Course nobody was letting me be tired or anything and I was apparently in a mood. But we went through all that. I really couldn�t find the words to tell Derek what was wrong. I only caught bits and pieces of the conversation out on the balcony and the truth of the matter is I am a bit perplexed by Wade and Derek�s relationship. They were practically attached at the hip the entire time we were at Disneyland and even though I denied that it bothered me it did. Not so much that they were hanging out together and not with us, but I was jealous of it. I shouldn�t have been, I know. I don�t have anything to worry about, but my insecurity concerning my friendship with Derek, how strong it may be, how long it will last, I don�t know, it worries me sometimes, even with the reassurances. But they seemed to be having the best time at Disney, and it was a great time. But anyway I wasn�t able to tell Derek what was wrong and I think it made him upset with me, even though he didn�t say anything, the expression on his face spoke volumes. He says he can see in my eyes when I am in a funk and its true. And telling him it was nothing is wrong, was wrong and it is something that i have to overcome or its going to be a problem. And I don�t want to have problems with Derek about something as trivial as being able to speak my mind and what is going on with me. Especially when it concerns my friendship with him. The same is true with Wade too though. I am very inhibited with my ability to speak about what is on my mind especially if there is a chance that it will hurt someone or me, especially me. Anyway Wednesday, I think that is where I am at right. We went riding around in the car for a great deal of time. We found the Santa Monica Pier and the beach and walked along the beach. I wanted to put my feet in the ocean but it was cold and windy. maybe in San Francisco, and then we walked along the pier. Derek bought some cool necklaces and a mood ring,. I wanted to get one, but apparently I have fat fingers and the largest ring size they have is a nine and well apparently I wear bigger than a nine. Which irritated me to no end, cuz it was a cool ring! Anyway, no ring for me. Afterwards we went to downtown LA to the Kodak center where they are going to holding the academy awards. Derek was on cloud nine and took plenty of pictures. It was made up to look like the set of the first long feature film �Indiscretion� It was cool. We looked around for a bit, not that much since Wade has developed a terrible blister on the back of his foot and has a big nasty bump on his leg from wrestling with me and him hitting his leg.. We ate at the Hamburger Hamlet, which was pretty good and reasonably priced for where it was. We walked along the walk of stars and Graumen Chinese theatre. It was pretty cool, all of it. Then we went in search of the infamous Hollywood sign. After a great deal of searching, we finally found it. It was dark already and they hadn�t lit it up, so we didn�t get to take pictures which is a bit sad. But still the search for it,was just as much fun cuz we saw some very beautfiul houses and scenery and made us envious and covetous to live in the houses we drove by. There was one that was amazing, but looked like a giant cake. It was pretty though. The scenrey was amazing, Los Angeles lit below us as we drove through the narrow streets of the hillside homes. Incredible scenery. Sparkling and luminous.. After that it was back to the hotel. Everyone was tired and we had to be up and out of the hotel by 12:00. Thursday: Happy Birthday Wade!!!!!We�re up and packing like mad. Not really like mad, but like I mentioned we had to be out by noon. we were out by 10:30 or so. Plenty of time to spare. We�re not tippers by the way. We�re 4 very poor people who were silly to book nice luxury hotels. Such is life though. It wouldn�t have been so bad had we not had to have valet parking. That was another 20 bucks a day and we only used the car like 4 times the entire time we were in LA. so they got 60 bucks which was plenty!!!! Anyway we were up and away . Derek saw the guy who plays Lex Luther on Smallville in our hotel and Paige saw the guy who is one of the main character on the sorority movie about the guys who have to pretend to be women as their hazing, anyway she saw the one who says the �I�m addicted to porn� and ..�pillow fight....� in the previews, at our hotel. COurse here we are leaving when the famous people are checking in. Anywyay our trek out of town has had amazing scenery. For the most part we are traveling down Pacific Coast highway, which anyone who has travelled down it knows its is amazingly captivating. Incredibly beautiful. Not much else to talk about so far. Tonight we�re supposed to go out to a club since well it is san Francisco and want a night on the town. We�re supposed to arrive in San Francisco around 5:00 or 6:00. Then we should go out and do something before we go to the club. Don�t know what yet, something in the celebratory fashion. But I guess I will get back to you about what the rest of the day hold for us. We arrived in San Francisco around 7:00. THe hotel room is/was something of a disappointmnet compared to the Bel Age. Its smaller, less amenities, and was more expensive. And Valet was $31 a day It was Wade�s birthday and so we went to Cheesecake Factory for dinner. Though picking a place to eat, while something that we do every freaking day, seemed to be a chore in and of itself. It was pretty good. Wade bought Long Island Ice Teas for himself and Derek to celebrate his first legal drink. They were apparently pretty good and reasonably priced. After Cheesecake Factory we went back to the hotel and got ready to go out. We went down to Castro street by way of the Muni subway system which was pretty cool. I didn�t realize they had a subway, but it makes sense that they do. We went to a club called The Cafe, which was a pretty cool club. Derek wore his SWOON shirt that Wade made him for the N�Sync concert and I swear to god, it was like an electric billboard and they fluttered toward him like butterflies. You could tell that he was liking it and it was surely an ego boost. Not that he needs an ego boost mind you. But by the end of the evening Derek was on CLoud Nine. It was really cute. He had this really big smile on his face which makes him that much more attractive. I�d like to say the same thing for Wade but that was not necesarily the case. When we got to the hotel again around 2:00 ish, someone was in a mood. Wade was ready to go to sleep and one thing led to another and he was being irritable and ended up having a �discussion� with Derek concerning Derek�s right to take up for Paige when it involved Wade. What really pissed me off was that while they were in the midst of their discussion, Wade had the audacity to try and drag me and paige in the middle of it and more or less make us pick sides. I can honestly tell you it was not a highlight of my trip for him to expect me to pick between the two of them. The fact that he put me in between was the first thing that really piseed me off. The second thing that really pissed me off is that once they got to �discussing� things, the discussion turned to me (again) and how I betrayed him, how I was a liar, how I don�t trust him so how was he supposed to trust me. The third thing that pissed me off is that a couple of days before we went on this trip he bitched me out for having a conversation with Derek about Wade and the fact that he was cutting Kristan out of his life. He acted like we were betraying him or something talking about him that way and then twice this week he talked about me. Hopefully next time he wants to have a private conversation about me he should do it where I can't over hear it And then he�s been stuck to Derek for the past two days. And then there�s the fact that Paige and I don�t get him since he�s gay. And what really just put the icing on the cake, what I really took home from the vacation is that, it didn�t matter how much we, Paige and I, wanted Wade to be there, he didn�t care. It was what Derek wanted, or what Derek might do or say, how Derek would act with him afterwards. It didn�t matter what Paige and I said or did, but if it was Derek, well it was Paige and Andrew who....? (can you tell I'm a bit peeved) Anyway, Thursday ended and Friday they slept till noon cuz they talked till the wee hours of the morning. Friday morning I got up took my shower walked around the city read about 100 pages in my David Feintuch book, I�m rereading the Seafort books, again. Anyway I went back up to the room picked up my camera went back down walked up the length of the hill took pictures of the bay from the top of the hill and then went back to the room to where they were awake and all appeared to be well again. They were awake and we headed the Winchester House, the famed mystery house that was under construction for 30 odd years and had thousands of windows, doors and stair cases some which led to nowhere. All in all it was cool, but not worth the $17 that we paid to tour it. But it was still cool. Interesting. After Winchester House we came back to the city and Wade and Derek went back to The Cafe where they danced the night away until the club closed and then they did something for the next two hours which they didn�t tell us what they did. Paige and I just stayed at the hotel and watched tv and went to sleep and I had some crown and acted strange apparently going to sleep waking momentarily to talk about my toes and then went back to sleep again. Anyway they got in and we went to sleep and then we were up at around 9:00 or 10:00. After wards we went to McDonald's for breakfast/lunch then went to Fisherman�s Wharf and walked around a bit. Now we are on the road back home. I�m in a bad pissy mood (right now) which I wish weren�t the case but it is. I�m mad at Wade for the week�s worth of crap and the fact that to him it seemed that Paige and I were secondary to Derek. Half the time it seemed like if we hadn�t come he wouldn�t have noticed at all. then he�d realize he was doing it again and he spend a little of his time with us, just enough to ease his conscience then it was back to Derek The trip back was horribly long and boring. I think every one has had enough of each other for a while. I contemplated updating but read through the rest of the book I was reading while in the front seat cd after cd of music was played. We drove through snow in Flagstaff or rather Paige did. It was so cold. Had to pump gas. Poor Derek had to drive 20 of the 26 hours that we drove and he was dead tired I am sure by the time we got home. I don�t think I said all of ten words to Wade. Which in and of itself is wrong, but I was still mad at him. Its a good thing that he is as good a friend to me as he is. I know he is worried that things between us have changed. They haven�t. I just don�t appreciate being hurt by my friends. Like he is always saying to me, "if you were anybody else...." In this case its true.
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