�stalk:
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�FRIENDS:
Derek
Wade
Paige
Jessica

�QUOTE:

People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world. - Calvin


Catharsis:
1 : PURGATION
2 a : purification or purgation of the emotions (as pity and fear) primarily through art b : a purification or purgation that brings about spiritual renewal or release from tension
3 : elimination of a complex by bringing it to consciousness and affording it expression

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Saturday, Mar. 23, 2002 - 10:56 A.M.
I'd say thank God for work, but I am so tired of work right now. I had to work with Martha all day yesterday, then again today and tomorrow. And more than likely Monday. Work is not a fun place right now. I think I need another vacation. I have one scheduled for May but financially I can't imagine I will be able to go anywhere or do anything. The rest of this year looks bleak bleak bleak. I had hopes of being able to do something this fall, but this morning, everything looks very bad financially. Very bad. If I can make it through August then one of the big things that I am worrying about will be no more. I just have to make it till then. But august is 5 months away.

Someone out there reading this want to be my benefactor? I would SOOOOOO appreciate it. Really. Want to front me a couple thousand, I would so be your friends. I'd say best friend, but the position is filled.

As you might recall, there's been something of an upheaval in flow of things around here lately and I have to say it has left me a bit, what's the word, worrisome. I don't like being worrisome. It leaves me feeling blah. I hate feeling blah. I want to feel on top of the world. Happy and joyful. I haven't felt that this week at all. Since coming back from the vacation. Its like we all turned this corner and there are all these choices as to which way we are going to go and I don't know if we are all going to end up in the same place. Or if we are even going to go down the same road. Things would be so much better if we were all psychic. I'd know what everyone thought of me, they'd all know what I thought of them, the whys, the hows, the whos, the whats, everything would be known. Course chances are there would be these vague clouds around everyone's heads because half the time we have no idea what we think or feel and/or we are so torn. I'm feeling very cloudy.

I shouldn't be feeling responsible for the way things have ended up between Wade and Derek. But I do, at least part of me does. They have always clashed with one another. Yes there were calms in between but basically there was more storm. I just don't want to have to give up one to be with the other, or to put it more selfishly, I don't want to be given up so that my friendship with the other won't suffer.

neurosis ~ catharsis