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People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world. - Calvin


Catharsis:
1 : PURGATION
2 a : purification or purgation of the emotions (as pity and fear) primarily through art b : a purification or purgation that brings about spiritual renewal or release from tension
3 : elimination of a complex by bringing it to consciousness and affording it expression

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Tuesday, Apr. 16, 2002 - 10:08 A.M.
YOu know I think I know what friendship is supposed to be. I have my ideas of course. My notions. THose things that keep bouncing off the inside of my skull, making an awful racket sometimes. But I listen and I think and I feel and it all turns out well in the end....right?

Sometimes it does.

I talk to myself alot on theway to work. Not quietly inside my head but actually verbally converse with myself. Now its not like I talk in voices, like Sean Connery is one voice and James Earl Jones in another voice or anything like that, though I have on ocassion done just that, they sound amazingly alike, well not really, but they do, but like I said, I talk to myself on the way to work. Its healthy to talk to yourself. Ask Shad Helmstettler, he wrote a book, What To Say When You Talk TO Yourself. COurse I haven't read it, I just know that he wrote the book. Anyway I talk to myself a lot on the way to work, talking about some of the things that I write in here, actually what I talk about tend to be the basis of many an entry. But a lot of it is me trying to persuade myself about this or that, to make me see things clearly or from more than one perspective, and I have to say oft is the time I find myself more confused after I get to work than before I leave. Its a bit straining mentally.

I'm reading this book right now, well one of many, and its about these two boys who are growing up in Ireland before the Easter 1916 Irish rebellion against England and a great deal of it has to do with their relationship and friendship, and it puts me into mind what I was saying about friendship and the idea of "best friends" being a notion of youth.

Its funny. I look back and I see and feel a sense of desperation where my friendships are concerned. I think that there is something that I have to do or someone I have to be to strengthen the friendships that I have. There is a constant hope in me that I will have these people with me always, that they hold this special place inside of me that I have no desire to let anyone else fill.

I keep going back to the line in
"Everyone is free to Wear Sunscreen"

Understand that friends come and go, but what a precious few should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps

and geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you

were young.
Is it wrong that I don't want them to go, that I want them all to hold on, because right now, right here, they are the precious few.

Last night entry weighs heavily on my mind. I skirted about what I was saying. And part of me is skirting about it right now. Youcan rest assured that on the way to class this morning I will have plenty to say to myself. which reminds me, I gotta go. Read me later.

neurosis ~ catharsis