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People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world. - Calvin


Catharsis:
1 : PURGATION
2 a : purification or purgation of the emotions (as pity and fear) primarily through art b : a purification or purgation that brings about spiritual renewal or release from tension
3 : elimination of a complex by bringing it to consciousness and affording it expression

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Tuesday, May. 07, 2002 - 5:00 P.M.
Apparently my last entry was so charmingly chaotic that it was believed I was either drunk (I did have a shot of Captain Morgan's Private Stock Rum) or someone else might have written it. Rest assured or unfortunately, however you might see it, it was indeed me. I did write it. Too many things lead me to this truth.

Its been a good day so far. No really it has. Yesterday was an alright day except it was a bit lopsided. I mean work was good, I had lunch with Wade, but I left lunch feeling like I was a bit too mundane. You ever have that feeling, like your life is just not substantial enough to captivate anyone's imagination or attention. Not that that is the purpose of one's life but still, you want your friends to find you at least a little bit more interesting than the drying dirt in the treads of your shoes. So I was feeling that way yesterday, for no reason really and not because of anything that was said per se concerning me, but how much "fun" he had with his other friends. So it leaves a person wondering sometimes, and I have a tendency to wonder alot about such things. Its that whoel insecurity issue. Anyway, I guess today has been much more different. I'm glad to say. And its not that I don't think my life is wholly much more substantial than it is, but rather its enough, I mean for me. For who I am, for want of a better phrase, for the kind of person I am. I don't live this exciting adventurous life, I don't like to party all the time, too many people around me at once makes me tired. I like small quaint groups of people. I'm very selective. I want to be around people that I like. Meeting new people while a good thing in and of itself, tires me. I don't impress people. I know this. And its alright with me. I'm not impressive. The only people I want to impress, are those that already know me, and they don't need to be impressed. Does that make sense? No.

Anyway today has been a very good, affirming day, I think. Aside from the Final exam that I skipped out on, which while not exactly disaffirming, its still affirming, because even now, after I realize I probably didn't even pass the class, I don't care. A year ago, I'd be a bit upset, I'm sure. But in all actuality, its just a class, a class I wanted to take, a class that I lost interest in, a class that will really have not much affect on my future or my gpa, thanks to the number of classes I ahve under my belt. Its a big belt. So what's the big deal. Ain't no big deal.

I had lunch with Wade again today. It was a good lunch. Granted he was under the influence of 3 percogesics, a bit on the drowsy side, still he made me feel a bit better about what I was feeling yesterday. I talked to Derek, he called me from Key West. They were docking the boat. So I talked to him for about half an hour, which was nice cuz I was thinking about him and wondering what he was doing and lo and behold he goes and calls. He's going to be hispanci by the time he gets back. I am going to call him Jose. He's making his parents go and see Spiderman while they are in port. Their ship doesn't leave till 1:00 in the morning so I am sure he is going to be out on the beach most of the time. I am making him send me postcards. Its the least he could do. :)

Then I talked to Mel after I got back from lunch with Wade. She was/is online. She's looking at going to Key West. SHe's been to Florida a couple of times. I've never been. Although I would like to. I mean beaches all over the place! Its gotta be paradise.

Have you seen the Friends episode where Rachel takes care of Ben and she shows him all the practical jokes. I love that episode!!!! It's so funny. I'm laughing right now. I know, I know, big surprise but its so funny and then at the end.....hilarious!

Not much else happening at the moment. So I reckon I'll just mosey on my way.

neurosis ~ catharsis