�stalk:
email
notes
guestbook

�FRIENDS:
Derek
Wade
Paige
Jessica

�QUOTE:

People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world. - Calvin


Catharsis:
1 : PURGATION
2 a : purification or purgation of the emotions (as pity and fear) primarily through art b : a purification or purgation that brings about spiritual renewal or release from tension
3 : elimination of a complex by bringing it to consciousness and affording it expression

�SENSES:
Listening:
read


Reading:
laundry


Watching:
sleep

Wednesday, May. 29, 2002 - 2:31 P.M.
I worry too much. I know what you're thinking, you don't look like a worrier, but take my word for it, I worry too much. And Iworry even more when I have extra time on my hands, like right now when I'm on vacation and am not going anywhere cuz I'm fairly close to abject poverty and all, so I am sitting here dawdling about the apartment cuz I can't go swimming cuz the pool is green, which is so wrong by the way, and my mind gets to thinking about this and that and worrying. About silly stuff most of the time. Mostly insecurity issue rising above the fray and making themselves known. But I worry about other things too. I discuss them with myself, or with whoever I am worried about. Granted those other people aren't exactly in the room with me, because most of the things I worry about are pretty nonsensical or way out there. But still, "we" discuss them and I talk to them and say what I would like tos ay were they actually in the room. Unfortunately, these discussions never help much, unless its the inner turmoil type worrying as opposed to being worried about other people worrying. And after reading this paragraph, I'm thinking that you might be a bit worried about me right now. hehe. DOn't worry I've discussed it fully with myself and I'm fine. :) No really I am. And it really helps that I have the trusty Magic 8 Ball to answer my yes or no questions for me. Oh wouldn't you like to know what they are. Suffice to say, I agree with 90 percent of the answers, because those are the answers I'm lookingfor. I just have to wait for the question to be fulfilled. That's the hard part.

Vacations aren't meant to be spent at home. They really aren't. And yet here I am. It is sorta relaxing, but I'm amazingly enough, not used to spending my days by myself of late. Which I have been the couple of days. Which has been unnerving.

My friend Carolyn just got back from her vacation to London and with her church to a conference/safari in Kenya. talk about cool. We had lunch and she told me all about her trip. I was the envious hue of broccoli I'm certain. Especially the London part. I so want to go back. all my friends who have taken a vacation have gone some where in the last couple of weeks. London, Florida, on a cruise and here I get to stay. Granted I've had some nice vacations over the last couple of years, I just got spoiled. Damned money issues. Someone give me about a million dollars. I'll be your friend. Oh well. Next year I am going somewhere. Somewhere cool. Somewhere different. I wantto go to the Cannes Film festival. I do. All I need is phony press credentials and I can get in and watch all the films and stuff. SOmeone want to hook me up. Not to mention its in the south of France on the beach, talk about paradise. Now all I need is 12 days worth of hotel money, money for the flight, money for food and some film, cuz you know there are going to be stars all over the place and I'll be good to go. You know anyone who would like to donate to the Cannes Festival Fund? Anyone? Anyone at all? FIne I'll just have to pay for it all by myself. Thanks for nothing. Okay this is a rather mundane entry. It started out with potential though, don't you think? Maybe? A little? Okay. So with that,I'll just let you go on pondering life in general, not mine, it'll bore you completely.

neurosis ~ catharsis