�stalk:
email
notes
guestbook

�FRIENDS:
Derek
Wade
Paige
Jessica

�QUOTE:

People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world. - Calvin


Catharsis:
1 : PURGATION
2 a : purification or purgation of the emotions (as pity and fear) primarily through art b : a purification or purgation that brings about spiritual renewal or release from tension
3 : elimination of a complex by bringing it to consciousness and affording it expression

�SENSES:
Listening:
nothing


Reading:
more of nothing


Watching:
all the nothing that is left

Saturday, Jun. 01, 2002 - 10:59 A.M.
My vacation has come to an end with as much hoopla as it started with, none. I had hopes that it would be relaxing and yet still have some fun interspersed amongst the days. Alas, I can't exactly say that, now can I. When one of the highlights is me throwing up on the side of the highway and another me sweating profusely helping Derek move into his new apartment, one might deem it necessary that I look to a vacation planner next time. Course I will grant you that I knew I wasn't doing anything, I just had hopes that I would be spending it with my friends. But alas, one has suddenly become preoccuppied, through no fault of his own, with a new friend, the other had a long laborious start of the week and now is feeling under the weather. Such is the circumstances of my alone time. I used to rave on and on in the beginning of this diary concerning my alone time, my me time, my INFP time but of late I have no use for it. I have grown too accustomed to being with them, wanting to be with them. Not that I am saying that I don't need my personal time, everyone needs personal time, if only to regroup, to refuel, to fortify and strengthen, to think and ponder, to breathe. I know people who need people around them, they don't like being alone and for the longest time, I really didn't understand that. I've been a solitary creature for the majority of my life, so the very idea is foreign to me. But now I have some insight into it. Not much, but insight all the same.

As I mentioned, I helped Derek move into his new apartment. Its a smaller onebedroom apartment, now that Adam has moved back to Arkansas. He started his new job today too, which is a good thing. I don't know if he'll like it all that much, but he needed a new job, what with rent and bills ever present. I'm glad he didn't have to move back home. Purely selfish reasons of course. It would most certainly have cut down on any time I might have got to spend with him.

Speakingof jobs, Wade decided he no longer wanted to be working at his. Which of course is nothing new. He's been wanting to quit for some time but has been persuaded on numerous occasions to remain. He is feeling a wee bit under the weather right now and that might have resulted in his quick tempered decision to quit. But this may be for the best. Work was a source of great.....what....tension, what with all the whack jobs that he's been working with of late. So this way he can direct all of his efforts to getting ready to go back to school.

My job beckons me from across the freeway like some flatulent siren. My enthusiasm for the place is fairly low, though I admit I am looking forward to returning. Just to have something to occupy my time. That sounds pretty sad, doesn't it. Alas it is true.

The one thing I didn't do that I should have done on my vacation is go to the credit counseling place. I really should have gone. But you know that voice in the back of your head, you know the one, the one that's almost always wrong, it was telling me that I can get myself through this little fiasco, all I need do is hold out a little longer. I'd like to bitch slap it one time, just to see the look of shocked dismay on its face. Alas, this time I listened to it. But I have to take care of this. It's not abig deal. Right? I mean aside from teh fact that I won't have any credit cards, but I haven't had any access to them since March anyways. Course that's only two months. Once I do the program I won't have any until I'm paid in full. Which I guess is a good thing. Plus if...I mean when I get my lazy ass down there, (you see that voice still has a little pull, even here)I can start saving up money since it all won't be going out to bills. That's a good thing. Cuz I really want to go to Cannes next year and if not Cannes then London. I really do want to go back to London.

I finished that book Kushiel's Dart this moring. I have been waiting for a book that might equal the greatness that is George R R Martin's Game of Thrones. This one, to my great satisfaction, comes amazingly close. Its incredibly written for a first book. Its truly phenomenal. Now I'm in search of another book to read, which is sad, if you saw my apartment. Books everywhere. But that's a good thing, it really is. I guess this is my entry for the time being. Such as it is. I know you're thinking, uhm, ain't much here. Well sorry. Deal. :) Read me later

neurosis ~ catharsis