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Welcome to my world
Monday, Jul. 22, 2002 - 7:01 P.M. In other news, my life is boring. I know this may come as a big surprise, okay, who am I kidding, its no surprise at all. But its true. I'm read to start going back to school. I know, I know, sick sick bastard! But its true. I love it. I do. I love learning. Not that I've been learning anything overwhelmingly interesting but all the same I love it. My English class last semester was one of the most enlightening experiences I have had in a long time. Maybe it was the instructor. THose of you who haven't read, wouldn't know that she was also my creative writing instructor. But It was a wonderful class. I'm taking photography and Scriptwriting this semester and hopefully something else. I need to hurry up and register for whatever else I might take. I've been feeling a bit out of sorts lately. I mean who wants to sit down and write about feeling out of sorts, and like a third wheel. Which might explain my lack of entries these last 10 days. I mean really. D'you ever have that "a day late and a dollar short" feeling about your life. I mean, well I don't know what I mean. Well I do, but I'm not going to put it in here. It sorta sad really. Not that life is oh so horrible or anything like that. Quite to the contrary, aside from my continuing monetary woes, life is good. Not rolling around doing cartwheels great but still its good. Now if someone would like to donate a good 25,000 dollars or so to the Andrew Hobbs is swell and deserves a break fund, I would attempt some stupendous cartwheels. Not that I need that much to be in the black, but hey its a nice round figure and whats the use of being completely debt free if you don't have a bit extra to spend on yourself. RIght? Right. DO you ever have people in your life that are more important to you, than you thought they would ever be. MOre important that you were willing to let them be. So important that they are able to hurt you without so much as a how do you do. I have a few of those in my life right now. I don't know if they know who they are. I would think that they know, but you know sometimes, people don't see the signs. But they are important to me. I like it that they are important to me. I'm glad that they are people whom I can admit that I love. Aside from family. If I had to do a whole tiered structure of the people I love, that didn't include family, there would be 3 right there in the center who I love a great deal who can hurt me the easiest. then theres another level, a much sturdier level of two of friends that mean a great deal to me that I love, who can hurt me, but it would take a lot for them to do it. Its that first level though, that has a passion, a force that I am not very used to. They have a hold over me and a gravitational pull. They hurt me the easiest, because I care for them the most. And this is all not making the least bit of sense is it. I have half a mind to delete it all, but I'll be damned if I am going to try and fill this little box up with a littany of other tidbits of my life just for your benefit. Suffice to say though, right now I feel like I'm on the outside looking in. I don't know what I'm looking at either. I feel like I don't belong. Anyway, you don't want to read about any of that anyways. What to talk about then. Hmm drums fingers on coffee table, pondering the great mysteries of life I downloaded a lot of jazz the other day. I was listening to some and I enjoyed it, it was soothing and harmonious and relaxing and now I just need someone to tell me what are some good classic jazz. With saxophone and lots of bass. So be a nice reader and tell me what to download. Jazzy beat with bass and sa. Go, go now, to the guestbook with you. Work today was alright. Nothing spectacular. The district managers meeting is going tobe in our backroom on Wednesday so I had to do a lot of domestic work to get it all nice and spiffy for all the other managers coming. I'm off that day so and the day after. Which is good. I was supposed to close tonight, but for some reason I was under the impression that I opened so I dragged myself out of bed at 7:30 ish went to work and Martha drags herself in late and that's when I pretend to realize that I thought I opened. I saw as soon as I got there and looked at the schedule that I closed. But she asked if I wanted to stay and work the day shift and I told her I didn't care, although in the back of my mind I was blathering like a fool that YES I wanted to work the day shift now that I was here. So she stayed for another 3 hours, for some crazy reason then left for an hour or so and then came back at 1:30 to work the closing shift. She's odd like that. Wade and Paige are suppose to come over, actually they were supposed to be here already but unforeseen problems arose as usual. I say as usual, only because I'm feeling gripy at the moment. It's always someone needing something and I shouldn't be a bitch about it because if it were me I'd probably do the same thing, but right now its not me and its seems like its always someone else and its just perturbing. Its that whole second fiddle thing. And its just an insecurity that I should just get over already. But old habits die hard, and this old habit has deep roots. Anyway. SIGH. This was adepressing entry. This is why I haven't had one in a while. I'm melancholy. I've a touch of ennui. I don't like it. Sorry. Gotta go before I find somethingelse blah to write about
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